When your parent tells you they want to leave assisted living, it can mean a mix of emotions—worry, guilt, frustration, or even sadness. At Inspired Living at Lakewood Ranch and across our assisted living communities, we’ve supported many families through this same situation. The key is to respond with patience, compassion, and practical steps that prioritize your parent’s well-being.
So, what should you do if your parent wants to leave assisted living?
- Listen to their concerns with empathy and without judgment.
- Identify the root causes of their dissatisfaction.
- Collaborate on possible solutions within the community.
- Encourage participation in activities and resources.
- Reassess if the current community is the right fit.
Approaching the situation thoughtfully helps confirm that your parent feels respected, valued, and supported, while also giving you peace of mind.
Why a Parent May Want to Leave Assisted Living
Understanding the “why” behind your parent’s feelings is the first step. Often, a desire to leave stems less from the community itself and more from the challenges of adjusting to a new stage of life. Common reasons include:
- Loss of independence – Seniors may feel like assisted living limits their autonomy or decision-making.
- Difficulty adjusting – Moving into a new environment with different routines can feel overwhelming.
- Social isolation – Even in a vibrant community, older adults may feel lonely or disconnected.
- Concerns about care – Dissatisfaction with services, staff, or unmet needs can create frustration.
- Nostalgia for home – Leaving a longtime residence often sparks longing and sadness.
Recognizing the specific reason helps you move forward with compassion and targeted solutions.
How to Talk with Your Parent About Their Concerns
Conversations about assisted living can feel sensitive, but the way you approach them makes all the difference.
Start with Empathy
Validate their feelings by acknowledging that the transition has been difficult. Saying, “It sounds like you’ve been feeling lonely. I want to understand how we can make this better together,” shows you’re on their side.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Encourage your parent to share more by asking, “What do you miss most about your old home?” or “What would help you feel more comfortable here?” These questions open doors to meaningful dialogue.
Respect Their Autonomy
Even though you want to help, remember that your parent is still an adult with preferences and experiences. Frame the conversation as teamwork: “Let’s figure this out together,” rather than, “This is what you have to do.”
Use Active Listening
Repeat back what you hear to show understanding: “So what I’m hearing is that you don’t feel engaged in activities. Is that right?” This builds trust and clarity.
Practical Steps to Help Your Parent Adjust
Once you’ve identified the root concerns, there are actionable steps you can take to make assisted living feel more like home.
Advocate for Your Parent
If they’re dissatisfied with aspects of care, share their concerns with the community’s staff. Often, simple adjustments—such as customizing meal plans, adjusting activity schedules, or improving communication—can significantly improve their experience.
Explore Activities Together
Assisted living communities typically offer a wide range of activities—from fitness classes and art workshops to social events and outings. Review the calendar with your parent, and if they’re hesitant, consider joining them for a program. Sometimes, all it takes is a friendly hand to encourage participation.
Discover On-Site Resources
Many residents aren’t fully aware of everything available to them. Assisted living often includes:
- Transportation for appointments and errands
- Beauty salons and barbershops
- Fitness and wellness classes
- Scenic outdoor spaces, like gardens and patios
- Engaging clubs and interest groups
Highlighting these amenities can help your parent see new opportunities for connection and enjoyment.
Personalize Their Space
Bringing familiar belongings from home—photos, cherished furniture, or favorite décor—can create a sense of comfort and belonging. A personalized space makes the new environment feel less like a facility and more like home.
When to Reassess the Situation
Even with adjustments, there may be times when your parent remains unhappy. In these cases, it may be worth considering whether another assisted living community might better suit their needs.
Look for a place that offers the lifestyle, care philosophy, and environment that align more closely with your parent’s personality and preferences. Sometimes, a change in atmosphere or location can make all the difference.
Supporting Your Parent Through Change
Transitioning into assisted living is one of the biggest adjustments an older adult can make. While it’s natural for resistance to arise, your response can help them feel heard and supported.
- Listen first, without dismissing their feelings.
- Work together to explore community resources.
- Keep communication open with staff.
- Reevaluate if their current community isn’t the right match.
By approaching this challenge with patience, empathy, and teamwork, you can help your parent create a more positive assisted living experience—whether that means adjusting where they are or exploring a new beginning.
Building a Better Tomorrow Together
At Lakewood Ranch, we understand that conversations about assisted living can be emotional and complex. That’s why our communities are built around personalized care, vibrant activities, and compassionate support designed to help seniors thrive.
If your parent is struggling with assisted living, we’re here to guide you through the process—whether it’s enhancing their current experience or considering a fresh start.
Contact us today to schedule a tour at Inspired Living at Lakewood Ranch, and let’s work together to create a supportive environment where your loved one feels at home.
